i give myself to You now, 2am in a sideyard

a testimony written and made thru pain and joy

Life


these songs came out of a stripped-down season,
a long surrender that became a return.
they move through the same sequence:
HERE . FORK . CUP . LIFE
Wherever you are,
Jesus is There,
and He loves you.


program: mapping the site — the following sequence is a step-by-step return in song form:HERE - hearing His call
"I know you're hurtin' so I'm here for you"
FORK - making the decision
"one way is fear, one way is home!"
CUP - grasping the gift
"till our cups are made one"
LIFE - and stepping into His Life
"down in the water, up in Your light"


start below with HERE


DRAFT I

folk

Here

for anyone who needs to hear they are not alone

lyrics

[Intro] oooohohohohoh-ooh--oh-ohoh-oh[Verse 1] hhhheeeeerrrrreeeeeah, I'm here Hey, It's okay Don't you worry 'bout what might be know it's gonna be alright You're gonna be alright And I'll be here[Chorus] You're not alone Not Alone I've got you I've got you I've got you[Verse 2] Don't be scared I see you cryin' and I know why I know you're hurtin' so I'm here for YOU I know you're worried 'bout it Don't be worried 'bout it[Chorus] You're not alone Not Alone I've got you I've got you I've got you[Bridge] She may go... She may stay He may go... he may stay they may go...they may stay In anyway... anyway, I'll be here I'm here I'm here know I'm here HERE[Final Chorus] I've got you I Love You I've got you I've got you I've got you I Love You I've got you I am Here For YOU and.[Outro] HEAR THIS NOW I LOVE YOU HEAR THIS NOW I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

Fork

for the moments you need to choose direction

lyrics

[Intro] ooohoho-oho-oh-oho [Verse 1] i've been walking with a weight i can't name, holding my breath in a borrowed frame roads i ran, roads i survived— still i'm here, still alive [Pre-Chorus] i don't need a perfect plan, i just need a steady hand [Chorus] it's a FORK IN THE ROAD, but i'm not alone! one way is fear, one way is home i'm taking the turn where the light can grow it's a FORK IN THE ROAD—so i let God go first i let God go first [Verse 2] i've seen loss try to steal my voice, i've seen love make a louder choice if i shake, i won't hide it— faith ain't calm, must decide it [Pre-Chorus 2] step by step, my heart on sleeve, i'm learning how to believe [Final Chorus] it's a FORK IN THE ROAD, but i'm not alone! one way is fear, one way is home i'm taking the turn where the light can grow it's a FORK IN THE ROAD—so i let God go first i let God go first [Outro] when i don't know… i still go let God go first ooohoho-oho-oh-oho

Cup

for your carrying until His Return

lyrics

[Intro] ooohohohoohooh-hohooh-oh[Verse 1] His cup at the table love in the bread laid there His cup in the garden dark in the olive air[Pre-Chorus] He prayed His cup would pass still chose His cup and cross ohohoo-ohoho-oh hmmm[Chorus] we carry our cups we carry our crosses till our cups are made one when the Kingdom comes with Jesus we will dine ooohohoho what a drink it will be[Verse 2] ooohoh-hmmm-ohhh we hold our cups in the waiting we bear them in our dust some filled with grief and mercy some filled with ache and trust[Pre-Chorus 2] the Man who drank the bitter cup still walks the road with us oohoh-hmhmm[Chorus] we carry our cups we carry our crosses till our cups are made one when the Kingdom comes with Jesus we will dine ooohohoho what a drink it will be oooh-hmmm o-ohm[Verse 3] [Male Lead] He held the cup and made a promise not yet — [Female Lead] not until we're all at the table [Male Lead] two thousand years He's held the pour [Female Lead] saving the best wine for later [Both Voices] like Cana — they knew it was true [Male Lead] the quiet ones who carried the water [Both Voices] watched it turn to something new[Bridge] [Male Lead] long tables out in the meadows... [Female Lead] Jesus there in the middle... [Both Voices] and all that we bore in the shadows... [Both Voices] will shine in the Kingdom morning![Final Chorus] we carry our cups we carry our crosses till all our cups are made one when the Kingdom comes with Jesus we will dine all as one ooohohoho what a drink it will be! when we all raise our cups in His Love ooh[Outro] in His Love ooohooho-hoo-hooo

Life

for new Life arising

lyrics

[Intro | 80 bpm | solo wet banjo, single slow plucks, close mic'd, intimate | one breath of silence before vocal enters] hhmmm-hmmmm-hm ooohoho-oh-ohm[Verse 1] grew up in a house full of human love, four hands taught me how to grow, how to think, how to throw, how to catch holy water, hard lessons, holy patience oh-hmmm thank you mom, thank you dad, never did say that enough carried by kindness in my wilderness[Pre-Chorus] walked a long way away only now i know He never walked away next to me[one beat silence][Chorus] Jesus, you gave yourself to me— i give myself to you, now down in the water, up in your light old life buried, new life arising[Verse 2] ooohoho-oh-o oh wore "agnostic" like a coat never shed forty years chasing answers down a hundred roads building my plans only to find i only needed[Solo][Chorus] Jesus, you gave yourself to us— i give myself to you now! down in the water, up in your light old life buried, new life arising[Bridge] fifty years in, done pretending so many to thank, no one to blame i have nothing . laying down pride, fear, control letting these waters tell THE truth we can't save ourselves we're already saved by You[Final Chorus] Wuuuoooaaahhh-OOOH-oh Lord, not half a heart, not later — now, my whole life to you down in the water, up in your light down in the water, up in your light down in the water, up in your light[Outro] up in your divine love


these pieces came out of a deep excavation through old sketchbooks and design thinking across decades.

Beneath

lyrics

[Intro] we were young... full of symbols you asked of me... "what would you be?" not for show. not for pride just for fun, but deep inside ooohohoho-oh-ohmmm [Verse 1] chasing symbols through the dark trying to discover spark you asked me who i'd be and nothing else would cover me i didn't have words just yet the answers never left [Pre-Chorus] i lost the order! (lost the order) kept their truth! (kept their truth) throughout my silence... they pulled me through! [Chorus] the whale! (deep in blue!) the eagle! (carrying through!) the elephant! (steady, true!) stayed with me! every moment, through every cost they stayed with me! love's forms never lost! [Verse 2] the whale was depth, the darkest blue hidden force pulling me through sound before sight! weight before word! oldest calling i ever heard. ooohooh-oh-oh-ohmmm ooohooh-oh-oh-ohmmm [Verse 3] the eagle rose through wind and flame! above the fear, above the pain! storm became lift, distance turned light my soul ever reaching past the night! [Bridge] the elephant... was never war. was the strength... to endure. slow through grief. strong through time. heart, bone, lucid mind. [Build-Up] deep below! high above! steady heart, shape of love! deep below! high above! steady heart, shape of love! deep below! high above! steady heart, shape of love! ooohohooho-ooh-ohmm [Final Chorus] the whale! (oh, deep below!) the eagle! (watch it rise!) the elephant! (steady heart!) stayed with me! every moment, through every cost stayed with me! old forms never lost! they live inside, never lost! [Outro] i lost order. not the forms. thank you for asking... way back when. i lost order... they remained. right beneath my skin. beneath my skin... beneath my skin... oohoohohoh-oh-oh-ohmm

Cradle

lyrics

(Verse 1) I spent three years running at ten thousand RPMs Trying to catch the magic, trying to tie loose ends Of a thousand-piece puzzle scattered on the floor An Eagle flying higher than I'd ever flown before Back in '97, I stepped off the edge and fell Now I drive a Z3, and I know the highway well The antenna caught the lightning, the vision burned too bright But I finally found the governor in the middle of the night(Chorus) And I'm wearing the red gingham, the fabric of the weave The builder and the blanket, the magic I believe Got the red and white wingtips standing on the rock The blood and the white grace at the bottom of the drop Yeah, the engine's running quiet, the heavy lifting's done Resting in the cradle Welsum, we are one(Verse 2) I traded in the speed for an Odyssey in '97 Bought the empty vessel before we ever saw the heaven Of a boy named for the maker, digging trenches in the sand I'm just the grounded Elephant, building with my hands Got cedar in the leather, laundry on the floor The scaffolding is quiet, I don't have to shout anymore I don't need a megaphone to prove the structure's real I just put on the work shirt and get behind the wheel(Chorus) Yeah, I'm wearing the red gingham, the fabric of the weave The builder and the blanket, the magic I believe Got the red and white wingtips standing on the rock The blood and the white grace at the bottom of the drop Yeah, the engine's running quiet, the heavy lifting's done Resting in the cradle Welsum, we are one(Bridge) Down below the surface, where the heavy waters roll The Whale is swimming steady, the anchor of my soul Like an old diesel engine, like a vault inside the deep I've got a classic chassis, and six good hours of sleep The Eagle sees the blueprint, the Elephant lays the stone But the Whale just holds the water so I'm never all alone Yeah, the air, the dirt, the ocean The fuel, the spark, the oil The magic of the kingdom built right here in the soil(Outro) The ribs are in the sand now, the tide is rolling in I don't have to be the loudest to know just where I've been Make-believe to reality, the maker's at the wheel The threads are woven tightly, the architecture's real Just a guy in a work shirt, watching the sun come up Caught by the cradle At the bottom of the drop Yeah, caught by the cradle At the bottom of the drop

Shore

lyrics

[Verse 1] Out in the deep where the heavy waters roll There's a quiet physics to the anchor of the soul The substance of the ocean, the ground of everything Before the wind starts blowing, before the builders sing It's a long way from the deep out to the sand Where I'm standing as a maker with a blueprint in my hand But I felt the disturbance, the tremor in the deep Waking up the water from a temporary sleep [Chorus] 'Cause God is the wave, starting out in the dark The unseen motion, the origin, the spark And Jesus is the medium, the water holding weight Moving through the middle before it gets too late Yeah, the medium is steady, delivering the roar And each of us is standing... waiting on the shore. [Verse 2] It travels through the substance, but it didn't make the sea Just a perfect mediator between the Maker and me They called it mesites, the one who stands between Translating the eternal into something to be seen It merely carries the disturbance from one place to the next No need for a megaphone, no need to be perplexed The wave is just a message, written in the tide And the medium is faithful, bringing it inside. [Chorus] 'Cause God is the wave, starting out in the dark The unseen motion, the origin, the spark And Jesus is the medium, the water holding weight Moving through the middle before it gets too late Yeah, the medium is steady, delivering the roar And each of us is standing... waiting on the shore. [Bridge] But a wave doesn't rise without breath in the air The invisible wind driving grace over there The Pneuma is moving the weight to the land And when the wave breaks... it soaks into the sand. It doesn't just crash and return to the blue It sinks in the soil and it dwells inside you. The dry earth is altered, the shoreline is changed The dirt and the Maker, forever rearranged. [Outro] God is the wave. Jesus is the medium. The Spirit is the wind... and the water in the sand. And I am just the shore. Yeah, we are just the shore. Caught by the cradle... where the heavy waters pour. Just let it wash up on the shore.


different vessels, same witness.
different forms, same message.


DRAFT II

hymn

Here

Fork

Cup

Life

funk soul

Here

Fork

Cup

Life

lounge house

Here

Fork

Cup

Life


more drafts coming,
more genres, more cultures,
more ears to hear


Here - french cafe

Fork - 1980's miami

Cup - roots reggae

Life - bossa nova


no matter where you live, our human condition requires the exact same sequence:
hitting the wall, facing the fork, grasping the Cup, and walking into His Life.


Here - south africa

Fork - japan

Cup - iceland

Life - middle east


every heavy structure needs moments of light

follies - Play inside the Story

pickleball brawl


Their Dwelling Place

you do not stand alone.
this is the only structure the Maker is building on earth until He returns.
once you step into His Life, you are connected vertically to the Trinity, and horizontally to one another.


if this moved you, please share it.
if you hear a place for these songs,
please reach out.
if you want to support what's coming,
please give HERE

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lyrics available - thank you for asking